Fidelity
by iwha
Summary: Oh no, what did you do this time Alfred? AU/One-Shot. Featuring: OC!Philippines


**Disclaimer: I don't own the series nor the song Martyr Nyebera. They belong to their respective owners, contributors, etc.**

**A/N: **I've always wanted to post this story for months now, I just never get to finish it all up until today though. Originally, the title of this story is the same as the song title but I changed it to Fidelity instead. This story is mostly inspired of the music video of the song. BTW, if you want to listen to the song it's in youtube, just type Martyr Nyebera - Kamikazee. Most probably Filipinos will get the jokes on the video, even the title of the song is a joke actually, but nevertheless it's witty on its own so just chillax and enjoy. I've been bouts of depression lately, so most of my stories will be on hold for now.

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Maria woke up to find her husband, Alfred, had gone out without her knowing again. It's the fifth time this week. She twitched and gritted her teeth in irritation. She knew it. That guy's having an affair.

"Well then, if he thought he could get away with it, he's dead wrong. That bastard _will_ **pay**."

She got out of the bed and quickly changed her clothes and then took out her trusty bolo with her from the back of their closet. _'Might as well go with a bang'_ was what she thought as her mind was filled with ways on how she'll torture her wayward husband, each one becoming more and more sadistic.

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She got out of the house and wandered the empty streets of the city trying to find her cheating husband. As she turned around the corner, she saw him inside the bakery. On the outsider's point of view he looked like he was flirting with the baker, Elizaveta. Unfortunately for Alfred, Maria thought so too.

"Grrrr…. Walanghiya ka Alfred…. Malilintikan ka sa 'kin! (Grrr…. Alfred, you son of a bitch…. I'll make you pay!")

She sprinted off towards him and kicked the door of the bakery, surprising the three people inside. Oh yeah, forgot to mention that Francis was there as well, but details, details.

As soon as Alfred saw his wife, he made a run for it. Typical for a man who was caught red-handed by his own wife, poor Alfred; Francis tried to calm Maria down to buy Alfred some time to escape, they can't jeopardize the plan, they've been working hard to do that for months too.

"Mon Cherie, please calm down!"

Unfortunately for him, it just added fuel to fire. Because the next thing he knew, he was thrown out of the bakery and have his family jewels crushed. But he did buy some time for Alfred to escape, that's a plus. (_France: "Easy for you to say… I'm getting killed out here!"_)

"So," Maria slowly walked towards him menacingly, Francis couldn't help but flinch painfully.

"Where's my lovely husband?" She asked in a sickly sweet voice that promised him pain and death if he didn't answer honestly. But, Alfred is one of his close friends so he won't betray him until the very end. So he did what most loyal friends do, deny, deny and deny.

"You can't make me talk! I'll never say it!"

"Really?"

Maria grinned maniacally and then she proceeded to stomp the place where it hurts the most to guys.

"Stop! Stop! Stop! I'll tell you! I'll tell you Mon Cherie!"

She stopped stomping and pulled Francis by the collar, Francis had never felt so scared in his life. He mentally noted not to get in the way of angry women, because they'll literally kill you.

"Now, where's Alfred?"

"There! He went to Yao! Yao!"

She quickly dropped him off like he was a hot potato and sprinted off to where Francis pointed. As soon as she dropped him, he fainted on the spot.

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Meanwhile, Alfred finally arrived to the so-far-unknown place.

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Back to Maria, she had finally gone to where Yao is. Yao, quickly sensing that Maria had arrived, turned around and faced the fuming woman in a sagely manner. Hong, his current student, also turned but look at her indifferently.

"Where. Is. My. Husband?"

Yao chuckles a little before moving forward until they are face-to-face.

"I don't know what you mean"

"You know what I'm talking about old man!"

Yao twitched in annoyance, a vein popping in his forehead, he moved back and signaled Hong to attack.

"Hong! Show this monkey woman what you got!"

Hong nodded slightly before sprinting off to attack Maria, unfortunately for him, since Maria is angry, her ability to fight increased. Needless to say, he epically lost and lost consciousness soon after. Yao, seeing his student get defeated, was about to get over Hong to help him when Maria attacked him too. At first Yao was having the upper-hand, but he slipped from the banana peel that Hong ate earlier. (_China: "Hong Kong aru! Why the hell did you ate a banana in the first place aru?!" Hong Kong: "I was, like, hungry."_)

He was soon in the same state as Hong and Francis.

"Yao, for the second time, where's Alfred?"

Yao glared at her before pointing the direction where he last saw Alfred run. As soon as he pointed the direction, Maria dropped him and he hit his head in one of the wooden posts in the area.

"I'm never going to help Alfred again aru…"

He murmured and promptly fainted.

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Arthur groaned and shook his head, why is he doing this again? Oh yeah! His _dear_, _**sweet**_**,** _baby_ _cousin _asked him a favor_. 'Bollocks! This is the bloody last time I'll help that sorry git!'_

Matt patted him at the back sympathetically, also thinking in the same train of thought as Arthur. He was about to say something when they heard something move towards them. Arthur quickly raised his baseball bat (_He actually hated it, but since it was given to him by Alfred, he didn't throw it away. He's not getting soft! He's not!_) And Matthew also raised his hockey stick. Even though the two knew at the back of their minds that there's just no way will they make it back unscathed….. Or alive for that matter.

Upon seeing the two, she was both surprised and felt betrayed that they're siding with her cheating husband. But there's no way she'd let them get away that easy, even though she's fond of the two of them, just like Yao.

"Hello Arthur, Matthew."

"Maria" the two both said her name.

"Where's Alfred? I've been chasing him around all night. You have to understand, I need to see him"

"I'm sorry, but we can't do that sister-in-law"

"You know, I've been like the Bride from Kill Bill trying to find a certain bastard and defeating (beats the shit out of them) people all night. I don't want to hurt either of you. So please, tell me where he is and I'll spare you two"

The two older men glanced at each other and then to the woman in front of them. Arthur nodded at Matthew and the latter understood what he had to do.

"He's actually at the Pier, just look for Kiku. He knows where my younger brother is"

For the first time that night, Maria smiled. "Thank you Matt, Artie"

As soon as she was out of sight, Matt looks over his cousin who was currently rubbing his temple. "Are you sure we're doing the right thing? He'll be killed as soon as she finds him"

"It's fine. He survived far more dangerous things than his wife's anger"

By now, they had already dropped whatever they were holding.

"If you say so, say, how about we get ourselves some pancakes. I'm starving!"

"Now that's a wonderful idea Matthew! Let's go!"

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Somewhere, Alfred felt something cold ran up his spine. He doesn't know why though, so he just shrugged it off.

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Maria has finally arrived at the Pier that Matt and Arthur told her, as she searches where her wayward husband is, she is then confronted by another one of her close friends, Kiku. Seeing him was a surprise for her. Especially since she knows that Kiku and her husband didn't exactly get along, or more like Kiku often tries to avoid Alfred since the latter kept on pestering him about either the newest game that was released in the former's native country, or anything else that catches Alfred's eye actually.

"Kuya (big brother)? What are you doing here?"

The two of them treat each other like siblings, since that was how Yao raised them; whenever her father was working overtime, that is. Yao was like a father to her, similar to her real father. But details, details.

"I heard from Yao that you were looking for Alfred-san"

Maria blinked before narrowing her eyes, glaring at him. All Kiku could do was sweat-drop at what she's doing.

"Are you in cahoots with Alfred too?"

"No, I'm actually here to watch you beat him up."

Maria was surprised at his answer, but then again, Kiku didn't really warm up to her husband, especially at times like these.

"Really? Are you aware of what he's doing?"

"A little, but it's not what you think"

"Really…?"

She deadpanned, the latter nodded.

"Then what is it?"

Then Kiku's watch suddenly beeped in alarm.

"Since it's time already, why don't you see it for yourself?"

So Kiku led her to her husband and when she opened ("You don't have to necessarily kick it you know" "I need that bastard to know that he's in on some ass-whooping!") the door that her brother-figure said where her wayward husband is.

As soon as they entered, they were greeted by enthusiastic loud shouts (more on Alfred's part actually) of 'Happy Birthday'. Maria felt touched, but Kiku was the only one who noticed that almost everyone else looks like crap (due to being ass-whooped by a certain Filipina) Hong even collapsed the second time.

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**A/N:** Most modern Filipino songs (or more specifically, those made by Kamikazee and Parokya ni Edgar, colloquially known as _Parokya_ ) are more often than not, full of witty and tongue-in-cheek jokes. Although for most foreigners, especially the ones who aren't familiar with Filipino humour, they might see it as odd and/or they won't get it period. Filipino Humour mostly centres around our everyday lives and English words being pronounced in the Filipino way.


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